


And So It Begins... !!SMOSH HARRY POTTER AU!!

by orphan_account



Category: Smosh
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - School, Best Friends, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Hogwarts First Year, How Do I Tag, Hufflepuff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Magic, Magic-Users, Multi, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, Smosh Games - Freeform, Smosh Pit - Freeform, Spells & Enchantments, Strangers to Friends, help me, maybe polysmosh, pre-harry potter, pretty much everyones bi, smosh - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-31 00:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21437569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Well, the Smosh fam is going to Hogwarts. Prepare yourselves. Also this may get a real summary in the future if I decide to continue this.!!If you've already read this, reread it! I added some stuff to extend it to become a prologue!!
Relationships: None right now
Comments: 8
Kudos: 8





	And So It Begins... !!SMOSH HARRY POTTER AU!!

**Author's Note:**

> the smosh fam is 11, getting sorted. no, they aren't british. whatever. they don't know each other yet. this also takes place in the 8 years before harry potter himself attended hogwarts, so there will be snape, dumbledore, quirrel, no he who must not be named, y'all know it :)

“Wow guys, I can’t believe we’re gonna get sorted!” Shayne exclaimed to the kids in the train compartment.

“Yeah, I hope I get Hufflepuff!” A blonde-haired girl wished.

“No, you seem like a Gryffindor and I haven’t even met you!” An Asian girl countered. “Why don’t we all say our names and hope we don’t get split up.”

“With so many of us crammed in here, there’s not a great chance of that. I’m Shayne. Oh, and let’s say our blood status because why the h*ll not. Shayne the pure-blood.”

“Courtney, I’m a half-blood.” the blondie replied.

“Olivia, and like Shayne, I’m a pure-blood.” the other girl introduced.

“Keith the half-blood!” One of the black kids yelled.

“Noah.”

“Your status?”

Oh, half-blood.”

“Cool, the name’s Anthony and I’m a pure-blood!”

“His best friend, Ian!” The kid slung his arm around Anthony’s shoulders and gave a cheesy thumbs up. “And I’m also a pure-blood!”

“Kimmy! And I may be the only ‘muggle’ here.”

“You aren’t! I’m also a ‘muggle’, my name is Katherine, but I go by Kate, please.”

“I’m not gonna tell you guys my name because I don’t go by it. Call me Lasercorn.”

“Why?” Asked Noah innocently.

“A while back I drew a unicorn shooting a laser from its horn, and when I’m older, I’m gonna get it tattooed!” The kid next to his gasped in awe.

“Awesome dude! I’m gonna get the Batman logo! ‘Name’s Joshua, everyone calls me Joven ‘cause my last name’s Ovenshire. Joshua Ovenshire, Joven, same thing.” The next kid nodded.

“Oh yeah, and I’m a half-blood,” Lasercorn suddenly remembered.

“Matt.”

“Dude, I’m Matt too!”

“Well, I’m Matt Raub.”

“I go by my last name, Sohinki. Matt Sohinki. half-blood.”

“Got it,” the bigger Matt winked. “Pure-blood here.”

“We’re Monica,” the girl pointed to herself and then to the girl next to her, “and Albertine. We’re both muggles.” They didn’t say the word ‘muggle’ with distaste like the others did.  _ They must have done their research and figured out that it’s not an insult. Mudblood on the other hand… _ Shayne thought.

“Sabrina,” a pretty girl squished in the window seat shared. Lasercorn’s eyes popped open at the sight of her. “Half-blood.” A seemingly shy kid looked up from his book. Everyone was looking at him. He pushed his glasses up his nose and closed the book.

“I’m Damien,” he spoke softly. “Pure.” He looked down and continued to read.  _ Woah, is that Sailor Moon volume 7?! _

“Mariko! Mari though. Hey, that’s rhymes!” The other Asian girl enthused. She had purple hair, otherwise, she and Olivia would look exactly the same. “Oh yeah, and I’m pure-blood.”

“Tanner.” Shayne nodded and a brunette with caramel highlights in her hair pointed at them both and looked back and forth. “What?’

“Are you brothers?”

“I’ve never seen this guy my whole life,” Shyane clarified.

“Yeah, and he’s a pure-blood and I’m a muggle.”

“They’re twins, separated at birth, one was taken in by a muggle family and the other raised by his birth parents,” a spiky-haired brunette whispered. Then his voice went back to full volume. “And they met up here.” The new friends laughed. “I’m Joe, a pure-blood and the funny guy in this group it seems.” Shayne jokingly punched the guy next to him.

“That’s me!”  
“Both.”

“Fine.”

“I’m Peter, a pure-blood.”

“And I’m Sam, also a pure-blood.” Shayne already knew that, they’d been friends since early childhood.

“We’re the other black people,” the dark-skinned girl pointed out, “I go by Boze and my friend here” she gestured to the boy sitting next to her, “goes by Flitz. I’m a half-blood, he’s a pure-blood.”

“And we aren’t related,” he threw out randomly.

“We are Sarah and Sunny, both muggles, and we don’t actually know each other that well, we just met at the platform,” the girl with the caramel highlights announced.

“My name is Spencer, I’m a pure-blood. I think muggles are really cool, though.”

“I’m Wes and I like candy!”

“He’s a pure-blood,” Damien mumbled while reading. Surprisingly, everyone heard him.

“Anything from the trolley, dears?” The trolley witch asked. Wes looked like he was about to faint at the plethora of sweets before him.

“Knock yourself out, kid,” Joven urged. Wes squealed with delight and got tons of candy.

“Now here’s the thing, you all have to help me eat this,” Wes told them somewhat seriously. Everyone turned to each other joyfully.  _ H*ll yeah! _

**\----Short Time Skip----**

Shayne groaned and the other kids did as well.  _ F*ck, why did we do that? How much money does this kid keep with him? _

“Wes, why did you make us eat all that candy?” Mari whimpered, clutching her stomach as she squirmed around. 

“I’m s-s-sorry!” He whined. “I needed help!” The train stopped. “Are we getting off?” Everyone looked to the windows.  _ There it is. Hogwarts. _ Suddenly everyone forgot about eating too much candy. Their stomachs were twisted in knots with nervousness toward what’s to come.  _ We’ll be sorted. _

“Oh my God, I think we are!” Courtney exclaimed, grabbing Olivia’s hand.  _ What’s that all about? _ Everyone grabbed their stuff and went to the door, which opened shortly after. They all got out and loaded their stuff onto the self-steering carriages. 

“This is so cool!” Shayne exclaimed as they went to the boats. Courtney, Shayne, Olivia, Damien, Wes, and Sam got in their boat. Anthony, Ian, Joven, Mari, Peter, and Kate got in another boat. In a third boat there was Flitz, Boze, Keith, Noah, Lasercorn, and Sabrina. The fourth boat had Sunny, Albertine, Monica, Sarah, Matt, and Tanner. 

“Where do you guys want to be sorted into?” Courtney asked.  _ Where DO I want to get sorted? I mean, I’m smart, I could get Ravenclaw! But I’m brave, what about Gryffindor? I’m a total Gryffinclaw. _

“I want to get Ravenclaw. My whole family is full of them,” Olivia explained. 

“Me too!” Sam concurred.

“I wish I was brave, but unfortunately, I’m not. I’m not sure what I want, anything but Hufflepuff,” Damien hoped.

“Hey! I want Hufflepuff or… just Hufflepuff,” Wes concluded.

“Trust me, you’ll get in it. I’m hoping for Gryffindor. Maybe Ravenclaw,” Shayne voiced.  _ Please please please. _

“Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, I think. I really want Ravenclaw,” Courtney prayed. She shared a smile with Olivia.  _ What is it between them? Didn’t they just meet today? _

“I think it’s funny that no one wanted Slytherin!” Shayne chuckled. The rest of the boat joined him.

“You know how many dark wizards came from there!” Damien looked around cautiously and leaned in. “He Who Must Not Be Named,” he whispered.

“Can you guys believe what we’re missing! The Boy Who Lived is gonna attend Hogwarts the year after we leave!” Wes enthused.

“Sh*t. It’d be so cool to meet him and see the scar!” Sam thought aloud. “He’s like… what, 3 now? I wonder where he is and what he’s doing.”

“Same,” Olivia mused. 

“Kids, be careful when ya’ get out! ‘S muddy out ‘ere!” The groundskeeper, Hagrid, called out.

“Oh my God, we’re almost there!” Courtney squealed. The cautiously stepped out of the boat and joined their friends on the shore. Everyone was nervous and excited as they murmured and walked to the great hall. Dumbledore gave his speech and Professor McGonagall started calling names. Shayne didn’t hear many last names, he didn’t pay attention them. Also, the butterflies in his stomach were flapping their wings so loudly, it drowned out any noises. 

“Wesley Johnson…”  _ So we know it’s not going in alphabetical order. _ ‘The candy kid’ turned around to simper at his nodding friends before the sorting hat was placed on his head.  _ But did it really touch his head? _ The sorting hat had barely tapped Wes before shrieking,

“HUFFLEPUFF!” The group cheered and Wes waved as he joined the cheering kids at the yellow table.

“Keith Leak Jr…”

“H*ll yeah!” He mumbled as he pompously walked up to sit on the stool. The hat took just a little more time than it did with Wes before announcing,

“GRYFFINDOR!” Shayne read his lips and once again, he’d said something like ‘h*ll yeah’.

“I’m nervous.”

“Damien, don’t worry. They’ll put you where you belong,” Shayne assured him. He smiled weakly before his name was called.  _ Hm, Damien Haas. That has a nice ring to it. _ The sorting hat knew where to put him.

“RAVENCLAW!” Most of the kids in that house and glasses and cheered when Damien started for their table. He shot Shayne a hopeful smile.  _ That kid is totally gonna be my best friend. I really want Ravenclaw. I love books. I’m smart. Well, not in math…  _

“Sam Lerner!” Shayne clapped him on the back and he hopped up to get sorted.

“RAVENCLAW!” Then Olivia Sui.

“RAVENCLAW!”  _ Please put me in Ravenclaw. Please please please. _

“Courtney Miller!” She gave Shayne a hug -  _ That’s odd… _ \- and the sorting hat seemed to be having a mental debate with her.

“GRYFFINDOR!” She cast a gloomy loom at Olivia, who returned it. But Keith cheered her up at the red table.

“Sabrina…!” Shayne didn’t hear her last name because Lasercorn inhaled sharply.

“Dude, are you okay?”

“She’s beautiful… the love of my life…” He turned suddenly to Shayne. “Do you believe in soulmates?”

“I do now!”

“SLYTHERIN!”

“The first one!” Shayne pondered.

“David Moss!” His face tured as orange as his hair.  _ Haha, we know his name! Lasercorn’s cooler though. _ He nodded to Shayne and sat on the old stool. The sortign hat laughed before yelling the kid’s house.

“SLYTHERIN!” He shot Shayne a look of pure joy. Sabrina clapped and gave him a tiny hug when he sat next to her.

“Noah Grossman!”

“HUFFLEPUFF!” Keith seemed slighly shook by Noah’s house, but brushed it off. He was happy for his friend.  _ Why do we all have to be so split up? _

“Ian Hecox!” Anthony patted his back and whispered,

“We’re both gonna get Gryffindor.”

“How can you be so sure?” Shayne slid into the conversation as Ian confidently took a seat on the stool. Anthony shrugged. 

“I just am.”

“GRYFFINDOR!”

“Daniel Padilla!”

“What?” Shayne asked. Anthony shrugged again.

“I go by my middle name.”

“GRYFFINDOR!”

“Kimmy Jimenez!”

“GRYFFINDOR!”  
“Spencer Agnew!” It was all happening so quickly, Shayne could barely keep up.   
“RAVENCLAW!”  
“Ericka Bozeman!”

“RAVENCLAW!”

“Amra Ricketts!”  
“RAVENCLAW!” _Please be a Ravenclaw, please be a Ravenclaw, please, dear God, let me be a Ravenclaw. I know so many of them! Ravenclaw, please!_

“Katherine Bow!”  
“GRYFFINDOR!”  
“Mariko Takahashi!”  
“RAVENCLAW!”

“Matthew Sohinki!”

“RAVENCLAW!”

“Tanner Risner!”

“RAVENCLAW!”  _ So. Many. F***ing. Ravenclaws. Y’know, why don’t I just ask the sorting hat to put me in Ravenclaw? Courtney had a little debate with him, right? That’s what I’ll do. _

“Sarah Whittle!” She smirked at Matt Raub and went to get sorted.

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

“Matt Raub!”

“SLYTHERIN!” He smirked back at Sarah, way over at the opposite end of the hall at the Hufflepuffs’ table.

“Monica…!”

“SLYTHERIN!”

“Albertine…!”

“SLYTHERIN!”  _ Well. Lots of Slytherins now. _

“Peter Kitch!”

“RAVENCLAW!”

“Joshua Ovenshire!”

“SLYTHERIN!”

“Joe Bereta!”  _ Ah, the funny kid. He should get Gryffindor. _ The sorting hat took its time with Joe.

“GRYFFINDOR!”

“Sunny Peabody!” It was just him and Shayne left of their friend group. They nodded as if to say ‘good luck’ to each other and he got sorted.

“HUFFLEPUFF!”  _ Not many Hufflepuff, even I’m one. Which I won’t be! I’m a true Ravenclaw… right? _

“Shayne Topp!” He tooka deep breath and he heard some of his friends cheer. He nodded and smiled to them and took a seat.  _ Wow, the stool’s warm. What did I expect? So many people have sat on it already! Also, is it a coincedence that all my friends and I got sorted first? I haven’t heard a name I don’t recognize! _ The sorting hat was placed on his head and he barely had time to plead before it made its decision.

“SLYTHERIN!”  _ No. Wait, what? How? I couldn’t even get Gryffindor?! What the f*ck? The f***ing h*ll is thsi? Is this a joke? I’m definitely not Slytherin! _ Lasercorn smiled at him. Out of his peripheral vision he saw sympathetic looks from Courtney, Olivia, Sarah, and some others.  _ How? _

**Author's Note:**

> why did i even name this, it'll have a different name by the time it's done. if it ever is. which brings up a point, should i continue this? i didn't put sarah's husband in, putting anyone's significant other is hard because i don't know how they act or what house they belong in, but i'm notorious for being able to tell someone's house by their appearance and small things they do (like maybe who they're married to). so, yeah. continue or no? also help with putting them in houses would be greatly appreciated <3 also one day until my birthday whoop whoop
> 
> UPDATE 6/5/2020: abandoned/discontinued


End file.
